around here it's a little known fact that phoenix and tyler can't get along. perhaps i am the world's most impatient mommy or perhaps it's just two sisters who are one year apart and super jealous of each other, but if you ask us, it's not your average sisterly bickering. in fact, they are seeing a therapist to work on their relationship because i don't want them growing up, parting ways, and never speaking to one another. it saddens me to think that could possibly happen.
part of the issue is not only because they are so close in age but because they are so different in so so so many ways. phoenix is more of a tomboy, she doesn't like hair bows and dresses, is very tidy and very ocd about things. tyler, on the other hand, is very girly, would wear a dress every day, a complete slob, and could care less about anyone but herself. they both also have ADHD, however, phoenix also struggles with high anxiety issues that make coping with tyler very difficult sometimes.
tyler is pretty laid back and when phoenix does something that bothers her, she usually resorts to aggravating phoenix as her revenge. don't get me wrong though, phoenix stands her ground, but she also tends to tattle on tyler a lot. so much so, i have become down right SICK OF IT!
seriously! it is the most annoying thing ever and got to a point where if i saw phoenix coming i would usually just say that if she was coming to tattle on tyler, then she needed to just turn around and walk away. most times what she had to say was something ridiculous like "tyler said i have a big head", but there were times that making phoenix walk away didn't work. struggling with anxiety left her frustrated that she wasn't able to vent about those situations that she was dealing with.
about a month ago, phoenix and tyler's therapist suggested a tattle box that would allow the girls to tell me all day long about what tyler said or what phoenix did, etc. the girls made a tattle box together during one of their sessions along with slips of paper for them to tattle all day long if they wanted to. i remind them that we only come to mommy and tell her something if someone is in danger but sometimes they still try to snitch on each other on occasion. if i know it's going to be something silly, i usually just say "take it to the tattle box!"
at the end of the day, i am able to sit down with phoenix and tyler and read their tattles together with them and talk to them about whether what they told on each other about was really worth being mad at the other person about. so far, our tattle box has been working great and the girls are slowly beginning to realize how silly some of the things they tattle about are. as we talk through the things they tell on each other about, we also talk about ways to resolve those issues. my ears and sanity are mighty thankful for the tattle box!
if tattling is an issue with your kids, definitely try this out and see if it works. if you do, be sure to let me know, i would love to hear your story. what other ways do you deal with your children who don't get along?
