It is always great to hear from so many of you who have been working so hard to accomplish your weight loss goals, and I was excited when Kelly contacted me wanting to share her amazing story with all of you.
Kelly has a {delightful} blog, Loving Life’s Little Moments, where she shares her life, including her relationship with God, healthy recipes and homeschooling her four beautiful children.
Please welcome Kelly as she shares her inspiring weight loss story with us.
I am on the left in my XL sweatshirt, and my friend Melissa is on the right
college roommate and still dear friend
On to my secret...I am not the skinny girl you think I am. Just by looking at me you, would never guess what I am about to share with you. It's just that I look so different from what I looked like for the first 30 years of my life. People who didn't know me ten years ago, have been quick to state, "oh, you're one of those skinny girls. You wouldn't understand." I guess you really can't judge a book by its cover because that statement couldn't be farther from the truth. So I usually end up sharing with them my story.
I am a twin (4lbs,5oz) at birth. So tiny my Dad could hold me in the palm of his hand. Lets fast forward a bit...13 years old. Pretty much always a little on the heavier side; not obese, just considered a "bigger girl". (funny, cause I am only 5'3" and I just thought I was big boned.) Throughout high school things were typical (translation: I ate a lot of junk food and pizza at midnight, oh yeah, and diet coke on the side.) I struggled with my weight all through high school and past college, even as a bride. I was always on a diet. I never did diet pills, but I did desperately try to make myself throw up (sorry, gross I know, but true.) I couldn't do it, and I know that that was a blessing in disguise. My weight was only consistent to the point that it would yo-yo back and forth between miserable and more miserable. Through some shall we say, "life choices" I was suffering the consequences of a broken heart and trying to fill that void and my emotions with food.
I made a decision to give my life to Jesus...all of it. I had made a similar decision as a child and really didn't follow through with it. Thankfully, God was faithful and He gave me a second chance. During that time, I finished college, met my future husband and God did a miracle in my heart by healing it and giving me a hope for my future; but my weight still fluctuated.
Things changed for me when a friend of mine had just had her first baby. We were weight loss buddies. (We would discuss losing weight, attempt to lose a little, gain a lot, console each other and repeat.) She pulled me aside one day with her sweet new baby girl and she said, "you and I have always tried to lose weight. If you are really serious, do it now, before you decide to have kids because before I had 40lbs to lose and now I have 70lbs." YIKES! The thought of me losing just the weight I gained was daunting enough, let alone baby weight. Within days of that conversation, I was at the grocery store and recognized a worship leader I had met previously. As we were standing in line together doing the whole small talk thing, he asked me the unthinkable: "So, when is your baby due?" See it wouldn't ve been a great question...IF I had been pregnant, but I wasn't...I was just overweight and uncomfortable in my own skin. The poor guy! (I'll bet he hasn't asked that since!)
this is me around the time of the "prego" question
I came home and cried. I told my husband what happened and we decided that we needed to make some serious changes. My hubby and I decided we would do this together. He wanted to run. I explained in no uncertain terms (smile) that I was NOT.A. RUNNER. lol, never had been, didn't have a runner's body or stamina. But he assured me we would start by walking and build to running. Meanwhile, on the inside God was doing His own changes.
A couple of weeks later, I was reading my Bible one day and a verse popped out at me and I just sat there and thought about it. It was Psalm 139:14 "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." I realized that I wasn't thankful for how God created me. In fact, if anything I had complained and criticized and blamed Him for the way He chose to make me and yet He thought I was wonderful. I don't know if you are like me, but I hated the way I looked, well, mainly my thighs. I have an "hour glass" figure and pants never fit right (translation: I had to buy a size big enough to fit over my thighs and butt and then they were way too big at the waist. Thank goodness for low-rise jeans now!) But He created me just the way He chose because it pleased Him to do it that way. Also, my soul (my mind, will, intellect, emotions, personality...every thing that makes me a unique individual.) didn't agree with Him. I determined in my heart from that day on to see myself the way God did and love the way God made me (big thighs and all). I don't
believe it was part of His plan for me to be overweight, that was my own doing. I had to come to terms that I was overweight because of me. It wasn't because or my bad family genes or hereditary, and all the other reasons (even though those can play a part), but in reality my extra weight was from my own lack of self control (translation: portion control.)
I have always loved to exercise and so exercise wasn't the issue, it was how much was going into my mouth. But something that day clicked in my thinking. I chose to see myself like God did. As I did that, I began to see myself and food differently. I realized that I was eating almost as much as my hubby, (who is 6 foot!) and I just didn't need that much food. I also believe that God didn't make certain foods to be bad. I began to eat only when I was hungry. If I wasn't hungry, I didn't eat. If I was hungry, I had the freedom to eat and just a little. If I was still hungry, then it was ok to eat a little more. (ie if we went to a fast food restaurant, I would cut my burger in half and my husband and I would split the french fries. After I had eaten my half burger and some french fries I would wait to see if I was still hungry. 9 times our of 10, I was.not.hungry.) I had been eating way more than my body needed! I became very aware of when I was hungry and when I was full.
It wasn't an overnight change, but thought by thought and soon, pound by pound I changed. It was a process from the inside out. It wasn't automatic. It didn't get there in one day and I sure wasn't going to lose the weight in one day either. But I had a choice with every bite and I had to purpose in my heart to agree with His word, with every thought.
Eventually, I lost 30 lbs and then I got pregnant. I won't lie...I was scared of gaining weight. But again, I had a choice to make. I had trusted the Lord before, and I chose to trust Him with this baby and gaining weight. But I wasn't eating just for myself any more. I was eating for my health and my baby's. I continued to exercise and eat when I was hungry and stop when I was full. I have 4 kids and with each baby I gained 30 lbs every.single.time. But, every single time, I lost the weight the same way (eating only when hungry and exercising). I won't kid you, it was hard work. I exercise for 45-60 minutes a day (5-6 xs a week). I watch what I eat, but I have the freedom to eat what I want, in moderation. With each baby, I lost a couple more pounds and my grand total is 40lbs less of me.
Who would have known, but I am actually small boned. There are days when I still struggle; not
so much with eating/portion control/exercising (those are all very strong habits now), but it has taken a long time for me to really "see" who I am in reality. Sometimes I still see myself as that insecure, overweight girl in my mind. When I first saw pictures of myself it was hard to believe it was me. The funny things is, having lost those 30+lbs (5 times!), that very first time I honestly didn't think my body could do it. I thought I was destined to be chubby. After each baby, I just had to remind myself that it took 9 months to put the baby weight on and it would take time for it to come off too. bite by bite, thought by thought. Little did I know that God actually created me to be a different size; one that I couldn't even imagine that first 30lbs let alone 40lbs later!
this is me at my sister's wedding side
note, with each of my pregnancies
my hair got more and more straight!
If you would like to be featured on Fat Butt Friday for your weight loss successes, please email me at moore8usa(at)yahoo(dot)com. I would love to share your inspiring story with other readers.
